Priorities

After James and I got married, I remember hovering in this weird phase of feeling like I didn’t fit in. On one hand, I didn’t fit in with other college students my age because I was married, so I couldn’t exactly go out dancing with my friends to pick up hot guys. My hot guy was on the couch back at our just-the-right-size-for-us apartment, and he was probably drinking a diet coke and wondering what I was making for dinner that night. On the other hand, I didn’t fit in with any of my married friends because they all had like 4 million kids (okay, okay… maybe it was more like 3 or 4) and they were slightly older than I was. That stage in our marriage, the “we’re too old and mature to do that but still not old enough to rent a car” stage, has probably been the most difficult so far.

Things didn’t change when Ryan came along because I was 22 when we had him, but our relationship with other couples at church strengthened a little bit. We finally had something in common besides our disdain for coffee and the sleeves on our shirts! Have you ever noticed that women at church like to talk about having babies a lot? I used to avoid those women like the plague. If I walked up on a conversation and heard words like “placenta”, “contractions”, “milk duct”, or “mucous plug”, I ran away. Far, far away.

But on Sunday I totally caught myself talking to someone about pregnancy and sore boobs, and I walked away from the conversation totally disgusted/proud of myself. Am I a tiger that just earned her stripes? I sure feel like it. Rawr.

Now that I am finally fitting in with other wives/mothers, I find myself having to explain myself to my non-married friends, or to my friends who do not have children yet. Some people have gotten annoyed, even angry, when I turned down a trip to the movies or to the nail salon. Can I set the record straight, please? I am a mom! When you say, “Let’s go to the movies to see such and such, it will only be ten dollars”, I think of all the things I could buy for ten dollars. For $10 I could buy-

A pack of diapers
20 jars of baby food
A new outfit for Ryan
3 brand new Nuby sippy cups
A 3 pack of VentAire bottles
6 packages of baby wipes
12 baby spoons
2 packs of baby socks 
10 baby bibs
A new pair of shoes for Ryan
A month of Netflix so that Ryan can watch Sesame Street at will
A Mickey Mouse doll
Bath toys
3 bottles of Baby Magic
A new baby blanket, or the material to make my own
A Dr Seuss book
 and 10 gallons of nursery water

I could go on and on. Do you get my drift? When I turn down an indulgent trip to the movies or to the salon, I am not saying no because I don’t like you or because I don’t value our friendship. I am saying no because I’m a mom, and I have to keep my priorities straight. I am also probably mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted from kicking trash in the Mom Department. It’s a full time job and it is not an easy one, so give us a break! That is all.