Think Before You Step Into the Ring

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” –Sam Keen

Like any other married couple, there are some days that James and I just want to strangle each other…

I hate how he unplugs my hair straightener in the mornings before I am done using it. I come back to give my hair a few finishing touches and there it lays, cold. I let out a loud exasperated sigh and say, “Would you STOP unplugging my straightener? It’s obnoxious!” And he raises his voice and is all, “Well you’re gonna burn the house down!” And I yell back, “Who do you think you are anyway, Smoky the Bear?!”

He can’t stand that I get undressed and leave a trail of dirty clothes behind me from the bedroom to the shower.

I get annoyed when he wears my socks. He stretches them out with his big feet.

He hates that I refuse to clean the litter box.

I despise when he expects me to do the dishes after I cook dinner. I mean c’mon. I clean as I cook in the kitchen, and all he really has to do is put two (count em’, two!) plates in the dishwasher. Is that too much to ask?

James thinks it’s annoying that I call my mom to talk every time we get in the car… I do that because it’s my only downtime . Doesn’t he know I have to call my mom about every little thing or my day is not complete? Besides, I have to do something to keep from getting carsick.

Which reminds me- I detest how James drives. I am such a passenger seat driver when he is behind the wheel.

James can't stand the fact that I constantly hit curbs and knock the front end out of alignment. He gets sooo mad when I barely tap the breaks while going over train tracks. (Sometimes I really don’t see them! Honest!)

But to each problem there is a solution. We just end up laughing at my horrible Smoky the Bear comeback. James picks up my dirty clothes and puts them in the hamper for me while I am in the shower. I buy him new socks, and then I buy some for myself that are so girly, they couldn’t possibly be mistaken for his. We made a deal that if I cook, he does dishes. I call my mom before James comes home from work… but he is working on being patient with me while I am on the phone with her. I drive to avoid getting carsick, and when he drives, I keep his indiscretions to myself. I make an effort to drive slower now, and his criticisms have made me a better driver. We have figured out how to solve almost every problem we have with one another! (Note: I still refuse to clean the litter box. Yuck.)

Marriage is all about picking your battles and meeting in the middle. Why destroy a marriage over something as stupid as a litter box or stretched out socks?! We should do all that we can to make sure our actions toward one another invite the Spirit into our home. Snapping over little things only breeds contention. I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes it's best to throw in the towel before you even step into the ring... At the end of the day, we cuddle up in the bed and snuggle as close to each other as we can possibly get. He kisses my forehead and I kiss his neck. Sometimes we say our prayers together just like that… We love each other unconditionally. And believe me, there are a lot of conditions.